Encyclopedia of Trivial Bullshit
Things I Wanted to Tweet/Post This Week, But Didn’t

While I’m a person who rarely bullshits, and I’m sort of known for being a bit abrupt with in my willingness to share my opinions on future plans and overtly candid in my assessment of how past things may have gone down, I really do pull back at times. Sometimes it’s because I know it’s only going to bring on a ridiculous pissing match that will only aggravate everyone involved. Sometimes is because I appreciate how hard someone is trying and I don’t want to discourage them.

But, this is a blog and what better place to be able to go and rewrite a little history in my imagination.  And if anyone recognizes themselves here, I’m hoping “no harm done.” So here’s some things I tweeted and posted in my head, even if they don’t really have the same impact now.

To the person(s) making fun of the panelist at SMBTV who called it “the Facebook”: 

Really, you self righteous twit(s)? You think it’s okay to publicly make fun of a panelist speaking for FREE at the FREE networking function your peers worked hard in their FREE time to provide for you, while you swill your FREE coffee and scarf your FREE bagels?  Shame on you.

Shame on every moron that jumped on board your snarkfest, and shame on the fellow panelist that jumped in when it was all over. I mean, it’s bad enough to tweet it at all, but doing it when you knew it was on a live feed right behind the person you were insulting was the epitome of low class. (I think I decided against posting this rant because, obviously, it doesn’t quite cut the 140 character limit.)

To the Really Nice and Well-Meaning Academic Who Recently Began Experimenting with Social Media Venues to Enhance the Marketing of His Program:  When someone follows you, it is not necessary to thank them via a public tweet. You can do that with a reply or direct message. Nor, really, should you use Foursquare to tell me that you are driving on Route 7 or just came off the entrance ramp onto I-87. Please just drive. I really don’t need to know where you are every minute of the day. The purpose of Foursquare is to discover others who are in the same place you are, or suggest friends come there, too. I’m guessing you really don’t want everyone on Foursquare to join you at your place when you get home at night or “swarm” you on the Northway.

To 90% of the People Who Have Joined Pinterest in the Past Month or So:  If you have 179 boards and they each have one thing on them, you are doing it WRONG. When you create a “board” you are creating an imaginary bulletin board onto which you are going to pin things—hopefully more than one thing. Imagine, if you will, that you have a bulletin board in your kitchen where you pin new recipes you want to try some day. Do you hang a new bulletin board for every recipe? I don’t think so. In your office, do you have a separate bulletin board for every goofy comic strip or photo you want to hang up? No. You have ONE board hanging over your desk and it has a whole bunch of things on it. Go back and spend a little time consolidating the stuff on your 8 dozen boards into a few common themes.  No one is going to follow your boards if there are 84 that have one pin each.